Other Selves

“There were other selves which interested her more but which she learned to conceal or to stifle: her inventive, fantasy-weaving self who loved tales, her high-tempered self who flared like heat lighting, her stormy self, the lies which were not lies but an improvement on reality. She had loved strong language like ginger upon the lips. But her parents had said: ‘From you we don’t expect this, not from you.” And appointed her as a guard upon her brothers, asking her to enforce their laws…So that she had learned the only reconciliation she could find: she learned to preserve the balance between crime and punishment. She took her place against the wall, face to the wall, and then muttered, ‘Damn damn damn damn’ asmany times as she pleased, since she was simultaneously punishing herself and felt absolved, with no time wasted on contrition.”

–Anaïs Nin from Cities of the Interior

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2 responses

  1. PK

    Love Anais Nin

    May 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    • Cities of the Interior is one of the best things I’ve read recently.

      May 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

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